The Meddo Podde

Why did no one tell me?

2007-12-23T07:32:52Z

KUWAIT IS FRICKIN COLD!

That is all.

Oh, Merry Christmas.

Iraq takes control of Basra from British army

2007-12-16T20:36:26Z

Iraq takes control of Basra from British army
16 DEC 07 AFP

BASRA, Iraq (AFP) — Iraq formally took security control of the southern oil province of Basra from British forces on Sunday, paving the way for Britain to sharply reduce its nearly 5,000-strong troop presence.

The transfer order was signed by Basra Governor Mohammed al-Waili and Major General Graham Binns, the head of British forces in Iraq's second city.

"The handover means victory for Iraq and defeat to its enemies," Iraq's national security adviser Muwaffaq al-Rubaie said at the handover ceremony.

"This achievement is one of the main achievements of the national unity government. It has come after sacrifices and direct support from our sons and all Iraqis. Our biggest challenge is to maintain the security in Basra."

Basra, the ninth of Iraq's 18 provinces to be returned to local control by the US-led coalition, is the fourth and final province under British control since the 2003 invasion to be transferred.

The ceremony saw Iraq showcasing its military equipment as soldiers paraded in front of a palace of the executed dictator Saddam Hussein.

Iraqi forces were heavily deployed in Basra to thwart any insurgent attacks, while helicopters patrolled the skies above, an AFP correspondent said.

British Foreign Secretary David Miliband hailed the transfer as "a major step forward."

"It is a testament to the growing capacity of the Iraqi security forces, and to Iraqi readiness to step up and assume responsibility," he said.

"I want Iraqis to know... Britain remains a committed friend. We will continue to support the people and government as they forge a future based on reconciliation, democracy, prosperity and security."

British troops were greeted as liberators when they rolled into Basra but never subsequently succeeded in winning over the predominantly Shiite population. Few residents will mourn their departure.

"It's our wish to see the Iraqis take responsibility for security in place of the British. They never understood anything except the language of the bullet," complained Abu Ahmed, a 55-year-old parking attendant.

A recent BBC opinion poll found that the vast majority of Basra residents share that sentiment -- 86 percent of respondents said they saw the British as a negative influence. Only two percent thought their presence positive.

Student Sawsan Ali, 21, hoped Iraqis would be able to provide the security.

"It is not easy to control the security in Basra as enforcing law needs a strong force," he said.

In a statement issued in London, Defence Secretary Des Browne said the transfer of Basra to Iraqi control was a "tribute" to British forces who have lost at least 174 dead since 2003.

"But we are not yet at the end of the road. Our role in Basra is changing to one of overwatch but our commitment to Iraq is undimmed," he said.

US officials in Baghdad also welcomed the handover but warned that more needs to be done.

"In order to attain sustainable security, the provincial and military leadership in Basra still have work to do and we will assist as requested," said a joint statement by US Charge d'Affaires in Baghdad Patricia Butenis and General David H. Petraeus, head of coalition forces in Iraq.

The almost exclusively Shiite city of 1.7 million people has been riven by rivalries between Shiite militias, but a feared explosion of violence once British troops pulled back has failed to materialise.

Rubaie warned that the performance of the provincial authorities was being watched.

"The people of Basra will witness what you are going to do with security... whether you will support the militias, whether you will fight the corruption, whether you will cooperate with terrorism," he said.

The Basra governor pledged to enforce the law regardless of factional loyalties.

"We are ready to stop anybody who tries to sabotage security," Waili told the gathering.

The three main Shiite factions in the city -- the former rebel Supreme Iraqi Islamic Council (SIIC), the radical movement of Moqtada al-Sadr and the smaller Fadhila party -- recently signed a peace agreement.

SIIC chief Abdel Aziz al-Hakim told AFP that peaceful rivalry between factions was "the very nature of democracy."

"Political competition will not transform itself into armed conflict," he vowed.

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who made a surprise visit to Basra on December 9, said in October that British troop numbers would be cut by more than half to 2,500 by early next year.

Following the handover, British troops will provide specialist backup to Iraqi forces, such as patrolling the border with Iran and carrying out economic activities.

But uncertainty remains over the ability of Iraqi security forces to keep a cap on factional rivalries, particularly given the province's vast oil wealth.

Basra produces more than 70 percent of Iraq's oil, and 80 percent of crude exports go through Basra port.

united in the quiet of the desert...

2007-11-05T04:44:35Z

Under a juniper-tree the bones sang, scattered and shining
We are glad to be scattered, we did little good to each other,
Under a tree in the cool of day, with the blessing of sand,
Forgetting themselves and each other, united
In the quiet of the desert.

words and plans

2007-11-01T04:34:34Z

"God determines who walks into your life. You determine who walks away, who stays, and whom you let in." -our chaplain.

After I come back from Iraq I will have vacation for the whole month of October, 2008. I am going to the South Pacific.

The weather is being suitable for Halloween --wind is howling around the building.

That is all for now.

O Fortuna velut luna...

2007-10-31T02:05:43Z

Flint, Michigan Sheds Foreclosed Properties
by Tracy Samilton

Morning Edition, October 30, 2007 · Abandoned homes are a big problem in Flint, Mich., a former manufacturing stronghold that is losing jobs and residents.

In some neighborhoods five or more houses in a row are boarded up, as one owner after another packs up and leaves. Once they have sat vacant too long bulldozers come to demolish them.

But the county is stepping in and taking control of the city's tax-foreclosed properties, selling plots to neighbors for a dollar or paying churches to maintain them.

The Genesee County Land Bank is demolishing the abandoned homes in an attempt to end decay and help Flint downsize gracefully.

The lots are sold to the neighbor for a dollar, or turned into parks.

Dan Kildee is Genesee County's treasurer and the chairman of the Land Bank. He says the old system, where the county auctioned tax-foreclosed properties to the highest bidder, worked against the city's interests. The amount of money raised wasn't that much and the result was often a spiral from bad to worse.

"Single family becomes rental, then slumlord owned, then eventually a big abandoned, burned out shell," said Kildee.

Towns throughout the county — all better off than Flint — are allowing the Land Bank to spend all the money it gets from tax-foreclosures only on Flint.

Kildee said neighboring towns understand that a house loses value if it's next to an abandoned one, and property values in the county are depressed by the presence of a dying city in its midst.

He added the new system is helping just about everyone: Developers who can prove they have Flint's best interests at heart get properties at a good price. Residents don't have to fear when the abandoned house next door will be set ablaze, and the city can focus its scarce resources on crime and jobs.

Real estate investment advisor John Reed said speculators mainly come after tax-foreclosure properties because they sell too cheap.

But it's difficult to entice enough legitimate developers who care about Flint's long-term future.

As Flint shrinks, it's taking on an oddly rural quality. Most streets are rundown, but there are also ambitious vegetable gardens springing up under the tender care of the new owners of double lots.

Mary Lymon sits at her patio table, overlooking her new yard that boasts a cheerful flower garden, a trellis and a swing. It's a big change from the days she worried about drug dealers coming and going at the abandoned house that once stood there, she said. Once the house was gone and the land was hers.

"I just really enjoyed coming out with my coffee — felt like I was in the country," said Lymon.

Tracy Samilton reports from member station Michigan Radio.

Pakistan

2007-10-31T01:58:43Z

Two years ago I stood on this very curb trying to argue with the Pak Army that MG Shajahan Ali Khan (the most wonderful name I have ever heard) did in fact say the media could enter

Bomb blast near Musharraf's HQ kills 7
ISLAMABAD, Pakistan - A bomber blew himself up about a quarter-mile from President Gen. Pervez Musharraf's office Tuesday, killing seven people and deepening Pakistan's insecurity ahead of crucial elections.

Officials said the attacker detonated his explosives among police at a checkpoint in the garrison city of Rawalpindi, just south of the capital, Islamabad.

Musharraf was safely inside Army House, about a quarter-mile away, where the blast was clearly heard, said presidential spokesman Rashid Qureshi. The checkpoint guards a road leading to the president's compound and the residences of several top generals.

Police said three of their officers and four civilians were killed, along with the lone assailant. Fourteen policemen and four civilians were wounded.

"When police officers asked him to halt, the attacker panicked. And as the police tried to capture him, he blew himself up," city police chief Saud Aziz told The Associated Press. "Our officers died to protect the citizens of Pakistan."

There was no claim of responsibility, and Qureshi would not speculate on who might be to blame.

Pakistan has been rocked by a string of suicide bombings mostly blamed on Islamic extremists, including the bombing of former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto's homecoming parade. The Oct. 18 blast killed more than 140 people in the southern port of Karachi.

Musharraf went ahead Tuesday with the scheduled opening of a highway linking Islamabad with the northwest, and warned extremists to stop killing fellow Muslims or face stern action.

"These terrorists and extremists elements must not retard the country's economic development by their senseless acts," Musharraf said, according to state-run Pakistan Radio.

The suicide attack left the area around the checkpoint strewn with human flesh and torn clothing.

An AP photographer saw emergency workers remove the body of an elderly man killed while riding by on a bicycle. Police said women and children aboard a passing minibus were among the dead and wounded.

Bhutto vowed Tuesday to continue campaigning, saying she would visit Rawalpindi on Nov. 9 despite the violence. She said, however, that she would no longer hold processions like the one that was attacked Oct. 18.

Pakistan has been hit by a series of suicide bombings since Musharraf cracked down on militants near the Afghan border in July. Two blasts killed 25 people in Rawalpindi on Sept. 4.

The government acknowledges the border area has become a haven for Taliban militants. The U.S. worries al-Qaida might be using it to plot new attacks.

Last week, authorities sent troops to tackle supporters of a pro-Taliban cleric in the northwestern district of Swat. Officials say four days of violence there left around 100 people dead.

About 5,000 tribesmen rallied Tuesday to demand a halt to military operations against militants in the northwest. The protest was led by Faqir Mohammed, an alleged Pakistani associate of al-Qaida's leaders who is being sought for allegedly harboring foreign militants.

Faqir Mohammed was guarded by hundreds of supporters, many carrying assault rifles and rocket-propelled grenade launchers. The rally took place in the Bajur tribal region bordering Afghanistan, where a missile attack on a school killed 80 people a year ago.

Musharraf is widely expected to join forces with Bhutto in a U.S.-friendly alliance after January parliamentary elections. However, their emerging coalition must survive a number of legal challenges that are being considered by the Supreme Court.

Bhutto and Musharraf say moderates must cooperate to defeat extremism — making them targets for Islamic hard-liners, who deride them as American stooges.

Vacation plans

2007-10-30T04:51:47Z

With the exception of four days over Thanksgiving, I will be in Iraq or headed there until next October. Then I get a month of vacation. In addition, I should get two weeks vacation sometime between February and July.

So I am spending a lot of pleasant minutes planning out these vacations, on which I plan to spend the extra money I'll be making.

For the two weeks, I'm either going to S. Africa or Brisbane, AUS.

For the month, I found a trip to Fiji that fits neatly into my schedule AND is for single travelers AND revolves around kayaking/snorkeling/diving/hiking rather than beach/shopping/resort. I hate to commit this far out, but it looks tempting...

LAMMERKE NOT AGAIN!

2007-10-18T04:29:19Z

Lammerke, what are you DOING? That is a dangerous weapon! Do not put your hooves in the trigger guard until you are ready to destroy whatever is in your sights!

The Radio is Singing to Me ...

2007-10-16T02:13:02Z

I am having a full two days of return to adolescence in which the songs on the radio seem to be addressing me personally.

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Paper bags and plastic hearts
All our belongings in shopping carts
It's goodbye
But we got one more night
Let's get drunk and ride around
And make peace with an empty town
We can make it right

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make the great escape
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway
Watch it burn
Let it die
Cause we are finally free tonight

Tonight will change our lives
It's so good to be by your side
But we'll cry
We won't give up the fight
We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs
And they'll think it's just cause we're young
And we'll feel so alive

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make the great escape
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway
Watch it burn
Let it die
Cause we are finally free tonight

All of the wasted time
The hours that were left behind
The answers that we'll never find
They don't mean a thing tonight

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make the great escape
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make the great escape
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make the great escape
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway
Watch it burn
Let it die
Cause we are finally free tonight

Waking up at the start of the end of the world,
but its feeling just like every morning before,
now I wonder what my life is going to mean if its gone,
the cars are moving like a half a mile an hour if that
I started staring at the passengers waving goodbye
can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time

[chorus]
but I believe the world is burning to the ground
oh well I guess we're gonna find out
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come

Well I, believe, its all, coming to an end
oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come

I think its turning to a crock but I don't really know
I can't remember caring for an hour or so
started crying and I couldn't stop myself
I started running but there was no where to run to
I sat down on the street and took a look at myself
said where you going you know the world is heading for hell
say your goodbyes if you've got someone you can say goodbye to

[chorus]
I believe the world is burning to the ground
oh well I guess we're gonna find out
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come

Well I, believe, its all, coming to an end
oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come

its gone gone baby its all gone
there is no one on the corner and there's no one at home
it was cool cool, it was just all cool
now it's over for me and it's over for you
well its gone gone baby its all gone
there is no one on the corner and there's no one at home
well it was cool cool, it was just all cool
now it's over for me and it's over for you

[chorus]
but I believe the world is burning to the ground
oh well I guess we're gonna find out
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
Well I, believe, its all, coming to an end
oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come

OK, is it truly necessary to write out the last refrain NINE TIMES?

If I don't go back in to the Army full time next year, I think I am going to move to S. Africa and become a scuba instructor like my sister. I can commute to Qatar or somewhere for my reserve time.

MREs

2007-10-16T01:33:43Z

Meals Ready to Eat.

I have some advice.

Avoid the beef patty! At all costs!

If you are looking for the dried cranberries, try the Vegetarian MREs. Yes, they have vegetarian MREs. The Spicy Penne Pasta with Mushrooms lives up to the spicy.

The cracker sucks --it is like dessicated plaster-- but provides a workable vehicle for the peanut butter OR the jalepeno cheese spread.

I like when you get a non-Army-packaged item, like the Skittles or the MandMs. The packaging is cheerful and a breath of fresh air from the commercial America we all love to bitch about until we can't access it.

My favorite item is the Yellow and Wild Rice Pilaf. It is seriously good for an MRE and actually a little better than similar food like Rice-a-Roni. But they are fiendishly clever about hiding it. Today I found one in the Chicken Fajita, along with Raisins and Mixed Nuts, which I switched for a Chocolate Sports Bar.

UPDATE ON MY LIFE
--------------------
I have been playing no-shit Army in preparation for deployment. IED detection, combatives, dismounted land nav, low-crawling through the red sand (and spending two hours cleaning my gear), tactical road marches everywhere we go while wearing IBA/Kevlar and carrying weapons at low ready. I can't believe I actually get paid to do this! I have escaped the office; in fact, I don't even HAVE an office at this point. (One is about to surge forward and devour me, unfortunately, but as of now I am free.) Of course I am spending any spare time doing my job on this computer, but the training is great.

Hope everyone is doing well.

on the lighter side...

2007-10-10T04:05:39Z

Where ARE you supposed to walk?

This sign has been cracking us up all week.

far beyond happiness

2007-10-08T02:54:38Z

Look what Lammerke has done

2007-10-06T03:24:06Z

“LAMMERKE! You told them that we liked it the last time … now we are going back for a year. Enjoy this hotel room while it lasts!”

"I told you so, Lammerke. But you know us; it is a new adventure..."

mobilized

2007-10-02T14:08:32Z

well, I have been mobilized since yesterday. It is one of those deployments where a reserve unit that was at half strength is quickly manned up, so everyone is in last minute confusion. My specialist just got his orders yesterday, and we have a staff sergeant coming in a couple of weeks.

don't have a car, but as I am back in the charming penumbra of Detroit Metro again, there aren't too many places for me to go, anyway.

will keep you posted!

Can't beat free...

2007-09-25T14:51:55Z

With the exception of my 0650 flight being cancelled because the Northworst plane had a dead battery (did someone forget to turn off the stereo? leave the dome light on?) today is shaping up. I am going straight to work when (...if...) I get up to Michigan so I have my uniform on, and people have been so nice to me it is kind of embarrassing: I haven't done anything to deserve attention ... and I love attention. TSA let me through the short line at the metal detectors, the guy behind me at the Starbucks bought my coffee, and a random person in the bathroom got teary-eyed thanking me. Then I found out from the Northwest counter that since the new Chili's is opening, apparently there IS such a thing as a free lunch today. Also, I got two coupons from Northwest for stuff in the airport and free miles. So I probably should stop calling them Northworst.

Hopefully the next flight will be a go, and I can get up to the HAND and meet my new brigade. I have lots of notional programs, but until I actually meet the people, I can't really get started. It looks like I will have a Msgt and a SPC --talked to the SPC over the weekend. There is a symposium this week that I hope will get me up to speed on the mission, though I flatter myself I have used the power of Google to figure out a lot.

Will yap at you from Michigan if Northwest is amenable to getting me there...

PS. The Fajita Trio is GOOD!

PPS. I will have to write at length about the weekend's festivities, but let's just say that my friend who just came back from Kabul and I kicked it OLD SKOOL.

Got my orders

2007-09-24T01:38:55Z

going to play in the sandbox starting 4 Oct ... will be stateside till about the first of the year.

Birmingham

2007-09-21T01:42:50Z

Well, did the typical wait in line for piece of paper to be signed, proceed to next line, wait, receive paper, after which I was certified as ready to mobilize. I should be going up to the new command next week to actually start on my job, which will be great, but the paperwork hasn't caught up with me in the system, so they couldn't cut me orders today.

I think that some type of celestial authority intervened over the summer when I became conscious that I was using "Y'all" and "fixing to" without irony and even in emails. They decided that I must be returned to the land of "eh" and "abOOT" before I completely disregard my nasal and Industrial Midwestern heritage. The LTC I've been working with went to school next door to me; he went to Western Michigan University, while I graduated from Kalamazoo. In a final weird connection, one of his classmates at Army ROTC is a PAO I worked with in Tampa.

Birmingham, Alabama, seemed to be a leafy gem of a town. You can tell from the map that it was cut through mountains. It's called the Magic City because it grew overnight after two railroads connected in 1871. Now it is post steel-bust, which made me feel at home as I am both from the Rust Belt and a fan of urban ruins. Some of them looked like kudzu-swaddled Harpers Ferry, some like the vast, Mordor-division Chevy-in-the-Hollow I used to stare at from the banks of the concrete-entombed Flint River, having ridden my bike across Corunna Road and through the torn fence. The town was all tucked away into the folds of green ridges, no blocks and blocks of sweltering strip malls like Jacksonville. Or at least not the part I saw. I did see this cool-looking statue but didn't get to the park as I was short on time ... after I got through all the paperwork, talked to my new boss, worked out, and sat in the hotel building up a new program from scratch, I had nothing left.

Wish I had more time to take pictures. I stayed out by Summit Mall , and I stopped by the Barnes and Nobles there to get a book with a neglected birthday gift card. I like to pick up books when I'm visiting a new place because I can write on the fly leaf where I was. Bama seems to be a nice place --the faces are different. Southerners look different than Midwesterners. They are a little more "English" looking, blue eyes, fair, faces build a little differently. I'm having a hard time describing it, but even after a few days, I can tell a difference.

A friend of a friend invited me out to do a run organized by this shop , so we jogged five miles as a prelude to some guilt-free beer drinking on 20th Street. A place named Oak Mills served Nasty Light ON TAP, which further connected me with my roots. With the archtypal "Southern Hospitality" the group included me in their conversation, and we even made plans to take an RV to the Grand Canyon.

Hopefully next week will see me up in the Hand again, if the paperwork gets unwuzzled...

One small victory over the paperwork

2007-09-17T16:18:18Z

I have an ID card that actually says "Army" on it. It was rolling up on three months now where I was wandering around with a Navy LT's ID card. Another dubious first... as an added bonus the picture looks somewhat decent, though they insist upon shining the light directly on your forehead, seductively highlighting the red mark the band of my beret gave me.

ID cards have often delivered horrifying renditions of my likeness. The one I just gratefully handed over looked like a mugshot following a bust on a meth lab. I had it in a document pouch around my neck when I was in Iraq, and a major grabbed it, stared at it, and said, "Wow, that looks NOTHING like you. This is the worst ID picture I have ever SEEN, and I've been in the Army for 15 years."

Paranthetically, this was the same major who sent me many snotty emails when I was trying to take reporters to Iraq, including accusing me of trying to run an information op in his AOR and telling me not to send him so many emails because he had better things to do than spend all his time on "your rinkie-dink media tour." I figured it probably wasn't a good idea to advise him he had spelled "rinky" wrong. (Actually, he was a nice guy in person, but when I emailed him the other day to get info about Iraq, he had a snotty out of office message. To tell the truth, I found this admirable.)

I look about 60 years old in my driver's license photo, but this is nowhere near the worst of the ID card humiliations I have endured. The first ID card picture I had taken in the Navy was handsdown the worst picture ever. It was taken in OCS right after the US gubmint treated us all to a haircut. They shaved the guys' heads, and they cut mine so short it stood up in a brush cut. I am not kidding. I have thick hair, and it stood straight up. This is also how I found out my right ear sticks out more than my left. The look on my face when I realize this is the photo for my ID card is indescribable. It was so bad, people were handing it around the room marvelling at the horror. "You don't look female ... you don't even look HUMAN!" said someone in awe.

I should leave for Birmingham tonight ... more paperwork...

Weekend!

2007-09-14T23:00:22Z

Every seven days, like it was planned that way.

I checked out a tent at the MWR for M's friend who doesn't have one. It is called a Eureka Assault Tent. I find that to be quite motivating!

Busy day trying to finish my current projects since I'll be in Birmingham all next week. Not looking forward to doing all the paperwork, but I will get to meet the people in my current unit, including Major Slaughter, whose title combined with his name still cracks me up, and CPT Thames, pronounced like James, not like the river. The convoluted saga that is my military career continues to amuse and astound; in addition to having been in the Navy and the Army at the same time AND having been selected for promotion to LCDR when I was a CPT, I may be setting some sort of record for shortest tour ever, since I will probably be processed out of this unit and into my deploying unit with about a week of total time.

After I do the processing in Birmingham, I will connect with the deploying unit for about two months of training ... and then onward. Sorry to be vague, just practicing stringent operational security (OPSEC). I can't even tell you where we go after the training, though if you aren't guessing, you really haven't been paying attention.

When Coincidence Isn't...

2007-09-14T00:23:02Z

I have been pulling myself along a string of interlocking people, names, places, coincidences for over two years now, since I went to Germany and Gulfport for the hurricane. Some are eerie.

It looks now that I will be returning to Michigan, where I grew up and went to college, to meet up with the mobilizing Army unit pretty much 10 years to the day I signed up for the Navy. In almost the same town. I found out I was going on September 11, six years after the plane went under my feet and destroyed the office I was about 90 seconds away from visiting. 9/11 was one of the reasons I volunteered to deploy with the Army in 2005 (though probably not what you're thinking ... it's a story that I'll tell at a different point in time), and when the Navy instead sent me to Tampa, I started on a road that changed my life.

Today's mysterious coincidence. Next week I have to go to Birmingham (Ala. not Mich.) for four adventure-filled days of pre-deployment processing (making sure all the records are in order, that I have shots and dog tags --which makes me sound like someone's cat). Driving home from spin class at the Y, I turned to the country station to hear a song about Birmingham.

Finally talked to an LT from the deploying unit, but I really won't have a good sight picture of what my job will entail until I get some time with the commander. I did learn that my position hasn't been filled for a while, which is good in that I can build my own program but bad in that I probably don't have any equipment, and I don't seem to have any soldiers, either. A lot can happen in the interim, and I won't know anything definite until I meet with the commander or the XO.

In other news: the secretary is victorious and the exterminator is returning to prosecute a campaign against a (plastic) rat, the roach is STILL on the floor, my boss threatened to kick my ass AGAIN over something he had imagined, I am returning to Rainbow River this weekend with BIG LAMBIE and two of his work friends, pictures of which I still owe you, and I will keep you posted on the dynamic and doubtlessly enthralling situation that my life is becoming.

Roach in Hallway SITREP

2007-09-13T01:31:07Z

As of 161212SEP07 when I departed the AOR, the roach referenced in this entry has not been touched. Not even by the rat.

Geh. Tow.

Michigan Seems Like a Dream to Me Now

2007-09-13T01:23:34Z

My extended family has a yahoo group where people can email back and forth, and recently the subject turned to my sister inviting an uncle to S. Africa. The uncle protested that Michigan was home, he wouldn't like all the dangerous wild animals as he prefers the gray squirrels, and the heat was too much for him: he enjoys crunching through the snowbeneath clear blue skies, wearing galoshes, with a glass of The Glenlivet awaiting him at home. He did rather proudly add that they DID have passports and they HAD used them to visit Casino Windsor.

(Another uncle posited that the swirl of The Glenlivet was superior in the N. Hemisphere. Mom ATTACKS first uncle, her younger brother, to say that he must be getting old as she hasn't seen galoshes OR deep snow in Lower Michigan in 20 years. Was he walking to the Kresge's 5 and 10 to get something at the soda fountain?)

Sister responds that in the North, the winters are beautiful, but March was invented so that non-drinkers would know what a hangover is. Cousin in London chimed in to say that despite small disappointments like the dreary weather and the Queen still not have extended an invitation for tea, she loves it --but that she compares everything to Michigan and it will always be home for her.

If the current plan holds, I will be back in Michigan shortly when the reserve unit I'm deploying with musters and proceeds to the mob site or CONUS Replacement Center or whatever we're calling it today. It will be nice to be back, but Michigan strangely never has been home even though I lived there for 11 years and four more in college. Many of those years I longed for it to feel like home, but now that I've accepted "home is out there ahead of me," I'm excited. Maybe Michigan will be home after all. Maybe somewhere I've never been. Maybe I'll become a single drop of rain. But I'll be back again. And again... And again...

Faux Rat

2007-09-12T18:07:16Z

This morning I arrive to see the secretary ecstatically staring at her salt trap around the victimized plant.

"Look! LOOK! He's been here!"

Sure enough, there were a few tracks in the salt. (Update from the past entry; apparently the building has a rat that eats nothing but one plant--bizarrely called a wandering jew-- that belongs to the secretary. The exterminator was cancelled because the traps kept coming up empty, but the plant maceration continued. Bitter and unbelieved, the secretary poured salt all around the plant last night to try to catch impressions of the rat.)

"I've already talked to petty officer so-and-so," said S., eyes shining. "FINALLY he believes me. He's going to call the exterminator back, and I've FINALLY got evidence. They HAVE to believe me now that it's eating my wandering jew."

This has been going on all day. Victory over the petty officer who cancelled the exterminator has been trumpeted nigh-continuously. Inquiries as to the purpose of the salt have been answered with a happy tone due to the success of the plan. S. is protecting her evidence against people who seek to sweep up the salt.

"I left it there for them to see. I'm not going to move it until they come to look. I can PROOVE that the rats are back."

Someone asked, "Did it come back because Senior Chief's toy rat attracted it?" S. said seriously, "No, but look at its tracks, it's coming down the divider from M's cube."

I don't know how I'm going to get out of this one.

Between the emails that continue to assault me even though my address hasn't been on the web site in a year, fake rats, invisible vegetarian rats, fake complaints from retirees, the fake LTCs and the entire fake brigade I am planning on leaving as a forwarding address, I am starting to question that reality is what it appears to be.

For instance, I tried to ask a legitimate work question from someone named Major Wright. I called the number in his AKO account, and they sent me to another office, which sent me to a third office, the voicemail on which gave me a FOURTH number. That number was a fax. I couldn't get back to the office with the voice mail because the office before that had transfered me without giving me the direct line.

I think the Pentagon may have devoured poor Major Wright, which is a shame as he was a nice guy and a good officer. R. posits that all is not lost; perhaps Major Wright was somehow transmogrified physically, racially and temporaneously by that monstrous bastion of paperwork, and is living out a previously broken dream of college football as the University of Florida safety of the same name . Click the link and believe; in a truely surreal coincidence, Major Wright2 is wearing a jersey that says Army.

This is irrefutable proof that once you are frustrated enough to completely disappear with no shred of fear of the consequences of this disappearance, the universe --defeated by your complete zen-like acceptance of its sham, drudgery and broken dreams-- will reassemble itself in your favor.

Office Rat ASSAULT!

2007-09-11T19:40:27Z

The office rat that has continually evaded capture has again launched a fierce assault upon the poor secretary's wandering jew. Emboldened by a few days of all quiet on the rodent front, she brought some replacement sprouts in from home, and the plant was soon redolent in its purple and hebraeical glory.

Then one morning we arrived to find the wandering jew again decimated, except for one solitary (and gnawed) sprout. The secretary, incensed, poured salt all around the plant, perhaps confusing the rat for a garden slug. Does she hope the rat will eat it all and have a stroke? Or perhaps it was some atavistic desire to salt the earth, destroying the rat's land for all time.

M. said, "Do you think we should make rat prints in Sally's salt?"

I've got to decide tomorrow to take the deployment with the reserve ... or hang around waiting for active duty...

Off Week

2007-09-11T18:09:58Z

I am just not on my game. Haven't been to the gym since Friday (did go body boarding both Saturday and Sunday).

Have a huge dilemma: I got a opportunity to deploy with a reserve brigade leaving ASAP for points east ... however, the active duty paperwork people are saying that if I did that, I would have to resubmit my application after the deployment, and of course there is no guarentee that the active duty program will still be er active at that time. I do not understand why they can't simultaneously process my application and then say, "CPT, upon your redeployment, you will be brought back on active duty." Doesn't that make more sense?

There's got to be some resolution --I told the reserve brigade I'd let them know by Thursday.

Funny coincidence ... the reserve brigade is about 40 miles outside of the town where I grew up in Michigan.